Feeling so restless and anxious the whole day, oh nothing much, just knock myself a couple of times when I get up from the chair, dropped my papers and books and maybe dropped the chair a couple of times too. Perhaps is due to the exam stress, perhaps is due to the fact that we argued, perhaps he is fed up of me, perhaps I am the one that is fed up of everything we had, and maybe thought of letting it all go. I know is never easy, the more you care about something, the higher the degree of important-ness of something, the more you are afraid to lose it; especially when you lost it once - just like a pendrive. Sure, it's just a pendrive, you can get a new one, no big deal. The pendrive that consists of my past memories, my assignments, my important documents, my contact details - my everything. "Sure get a new one! You can start all over again!" After losing my first pendrive, I've gotten super paranoid, I checked my bag trillions of times to see if my I've chuck it into my bag. Walk back into the computer cluster while searching it in my bag or holding my it in my hands to check if I've left it there again, attached heaps of bangles and chains for identification or for the sake of reminding myself of my pendrive.
Not just things, I don't expect you to understand the feeling of being paranoid, the fear of losing things again, the worries - these feelings are just too much to handle. I cant possibly attach things on you, or chuck you into my bag or even check on you trillions of times. And of course, I can't get a new one and I don't wish to start all over again. Maybe I'm being unreasonable, maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe I care too much, maybe maybe maybe.. Should I stop all these then? The thinking, the being unreasonable, the caring...Or we talked too much? Really?? Talking too much may be a factor. If we didn't talk, we wouldn't have argued, am I right? If we didn't talk, I wouldn't say I don't want to talk to you anymore. If we didn't talk, you would have listened? Or I have PMS after-all.... Hmmm, interesting aye? I really don't know what to say. All I want was a phrase that would ease my worries and something I would be very fond to hear. Anyhow, it doesn't matter now, does it. Many things doesn't end well anyway.
Feeling so restless and anxious the whole day, oh nothing much, just knock myself a couple of times when I get up from the chair, dropped my papers and books and maybe dropped the chair a couple of times too. Perhaps is due to the exam stress, perhaps is due to the fact that we argued, perhaps he is fed up of me, perhaps I am the one that is fed up of everything we had, and maybe thought of letting it all go. I know is never easy, the more you care about something, the higher the degree of important-ness of something, the more you are afraid to lose it; especially when you lost it once - just like a pendrive. Sure, it's just a pendrive, you can get a new one, no big deal. The pendrive that consists of my past memories, my assignments, my important documents, my contact details - my everything. "Sure get a new one! You can start all over again!" After losing my first pendrive, I've gotten super paranoid, I checked my bag trillions of times to see if my I've chuck it into my bag. Walk back into the computer cluster while searching it in my bag or holding my it in my hands to check if I've left it there again, attached heaps of bangles and chains for identification or for the sake of reminding myself of my pendrive.
Not just things, I don't expect you to understand the feeling of being paranoid, the fear of losing things again, the worries - these feelings are just too much to handle. I cant possibly attach things on you, or chuck you into my bag or even check on you trillions of times. And of course, I can't get a new one and I don't wish to start all over again. Maybe I'm being unreasonable, maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe I care too much, maybe maybe maybe.. Should I stop all these then? The thinking, the being unreasonable, the caring...Or we talked too much? Really?? Talking too much may be a factor. If we didn't talk, we wouldn't have argued, am I right? If we didn't talk, I wouldn't say I don't want to talk to you anymore. If we didn't talk, you would have listened? Or I have PMS after-all.... Hmmm, interesting aye? I really don't know what to say. All I want was a phrase that would ease my worries and something I would be very fond to hear. Anyhow, it doesn't matter now, does it. Many things doesn't end well anyway.
Colleen Toh
Foodie. Uber petite. Some therapeutic cooking. Kick boxing.
Malaysia. New Zealand.
And I love chicken rice.
Currently working as a Health Educator (Diabetes) in New Zealand!
I hope the little things in life can make me happy again!
For business: zhtohcolleen@yahoo.com
Bungy jumping
Sky diving
Watch a live NBA match
Magic mushroom
Disneyland
Universal Studio Trip to UK
Trip to USA
Trip to Hawaii
Trip to Amsterdam Trip to Queenstown
Trip to Japan
Trip to Ohrid
Trip to Korea Trip to Pataya Trip to Bangkok
Trip to Redang
Trip to Bali
Trip to Gold Coast Trip to Paris
Trip to Rome
Trip to Hong Kong
Trip to Maldives Trip to Taiwan
The art of being a stupid girl
