According to the oh-so glorious Oxford Dictionary, the meaning of love is a strong feeling of affection. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Is it really that simple? That you can have that 'strong feeling of affection' towards anyone? I am Malaysian girl- South East Asian. I was brought up in a way where I was not taught how to love someone except my parents, siblings and some blood-related people (grandparents and etc). Nobody told me 'Oh, when you're older you are going to meet someone really special. You will build a new family with him.' Yes I know this is actually quite sad if you come to think of it. But I fell in love (hard!) with a boy when I was in college. I was surprise I knew how to love someone else besides my family. Under some circumstances, we have been doing long distance relationship for about 5 years. He was in UK for studies and I'm in NZ for studies (that's 3 years by the way). It was 12/11 hours difference. And now, I'm still in NZ with a decent job; he's back in Malaysia working. Is 4/5 hours difference.
I love him so much; I wanted to try the long distance relationship. I thought we can make it, against all odds. OH BOY, I WAS WRONG. SO WRONG. When we broke up for the first time - I bloody cried my eyes out every night ( for months) before going to bed and I told myself it was just a phase everybody goes through. He just needed some time to think it through. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME IT WAS GOING TO HURT THIS BAD? They tell me; only your heart is broken, but I literally felt the pain everywhere. WHAT WAS THE BEST WAY TO HEAL MYSELF OR TO GET OVER THIS? WILL I EVER GET THROUGH THIS? I tried to be friendly, but was being shut out and pushed away. 10 months later, I thought I've healed quite well and I fixed myself- coping a little bit better, accepting the fact that he's not coming back, I should move on.
Of course I still miss him.
One day out of the blue, I received a message from him - I miss you. Inside of me died a little bit then because I thought he found someone and he sent it to the wrong person. I didn't reply for a few day but I cannot help myself. The message was for me. God answered my prayers, He has returned him to me. We are meant-to-be after all. I was right, it was just a phase. The chemistry was still there, he said things that I wanted to listen and I agree to get back together - because I still love him. It wasn't just a hasty decision.
I do love him every much.
After all these years, I still couldn't understand how can I love someone so much. We recently had an argument, which is one of the most heated ones we ever had. I was pushed to the edge, he obviously didn't notice and understand why. I was termed being too sensitive towards his words. And he labelled his insensitivity as honesty. I was super upset, couldn't understand how can someone who you love so much say such hurtful things to you. I would cry myself to sleep, cry on bus going to work, cry in the shower and getting upset just thinking about it or even talk about it. ONCE AGAIN, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME I WOULD CARE SO MUCH? WHY DIDN'T YOU LEARN FROM YOUR PREVIOUS BREAK UP?
Today, he told me - he doesn't love me as much like he used to.
SO TELL ME KNOW, WTF IS LOVE? DOES PAIN COMES WITH LOVE? IS IT A PACKAGE DEAL AND PAIN CANNOT BE EXCLUDED? Because I really want to know.
you silly girl, why do you put yourself through these pain. because he is the love of my life, at least that's what i thought.
According to the oh-so glorious Oxford Dictionary, the meaning of love is a strong feeling of affection. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Is it really that simple? That you can have that 'strong feeling of affection' towards anyone? I am Malaysian girl- South East Asian. I was brought up in a way where I was not taught how to love someone except my parents, siblings and some blood-related people (grandparents and etc). Nobody told me 'Oh, when you're older you are going to meet someone really special. You will build a new family with him.' Yes I know this is actually quite sad if you come to think of it. But I fell in love (hard!) with a boy when I was in college. I was surprise I knew how to love someone else besides my family. Under some circumstances, we have been doing long distance relationship for about 5 years. He was in UK for studies and I'm in NZ for studies (that's 3 years by the way). It was 12/11 hours difference. And now, I'm still in NZ with a decent job; he's back in Malaysia working. Is 4/5 hours difference.
I love him so much; I wanted to try the long distance relationship. I thought we can make it, against all odds. OH BOY, I WAS WRONG. SO WRONG. When we broke up for the first time - I bloody cried my eyes out every night ( for months) before going to bed and I told myself it was just a phase everybody goes through. He just needed some time to think it through. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME IT WAS GOING TO HURT THIS BAD? They tell me; only your heart is broken, but I literally felt the pain everywhere. WHAT WAS THE BEST WAY TO HEAL MYSELF OR TO GET OVER THIS? WILL I EVER GET THROUGH THIS? I tried to be friendly, but was being shut out and pushed away. 10 months later, I thought I've healed quite well and I fixed myself- coping a little bit better, accepting the fact that he's not coming back, I should move on.
Of course I still miss him.
One day out of the blue, I received a message from him - I miss you. Inside of me died a little bit then because I thought he found someone and he sent it to the wrong person. I didn't reply for a few day but I cannot help myself. The message was for me. God answered my prayers, He has returned him to me. We are meant-to-be after all. I was right, it was just a phase. The chemistry was still there, he said things that I wanted to listen and I agree to get back together - because I still love him. It wasn't just a hasty decision.
I do love him every much.
After all these years, I still couldn't understand how can I love someone so much. We recently had an argument, which is one of the most heated ones we ever had. I was pushed to the edge, he obviously didn't notice and understand why. I was termed being too sensitive towards his words. And he labelled his insensitivity as honesty. I was super upset, couldn't understand how can someone who you love so much say such hurtful things to you. I would cry myself to sleep, cry on bus going to work, cry in the shower and getting upset just thinking about it or even talk about it. ONCE AGAIN, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME I WOULD CARE SO MUCH? WHY DIDN'T YOU LEARN FROM YOUR PREVIOUS BREAK UP?
Today, he told me - he doesn't love me as much like he used to.
SO TELL ME KNOW, WTF IS LOVE? DOES PAIN COMES WITH LOVE? IS IT A PACKAGE DEAL AND PAIN CANNOT BE EXCLUDED? Because I really want to know.
you silly girl, why do you put yourself through these pain. because he is the love of my life, at least that's what i thought.
Colleen Toh
Foodie. Uber petite. Some therapeutic cooking. Kick boxing.
Malaysia. New Zealand.
And I love chicken rice.
Currently working as a Health Educator (Diabetes) in New Zealand!
I hope the little things in life can make me happy again!
For business: zhtohcolleen@yahoo.com
Bungy jumping
Sky diving
Watch a live NBA match
Magic mushroom
Disneyland
Universal Studio Trip to UK
Trip to USA
Trip to Hawaii
Trip to Amsterdam Trip to Queenstown
Trip to Japan
Trip to Ohrid
Trip to Korea Trip to Pataya Trip to Bangkok
Trip to Redang
Trip to Bali
Trip to Gold Coast Trip to Paris
Trip to Rome
Trip to Hong Kong
Trip to Maldives Trip to Taiwan
What is love really about?
